My Story - Part Two - Continued

WHAT HAPPENS TO OR HAS HAPPENED TO ME AT SCHOOL

From the moment I arrived at the school I have been approached by Playa Haters - people that get satisfaction from making others look bad. They roam the school as if they own it. Confident in themselves but what lies behind their confidence is always questionable. I mean, who are these people really? What have they achieved? What makes them feel so bold that they can go up to someone they see minding their own business and start hating on them? There are a group of Playa Haters that love to irritate me.

It might help if I define Playa Hater for you:

Playa Hater or Playa Hating is an urban definition for bullying that focuses on who the bully is rather than the victim. A Playa Hater is someone who picks on or bullies another person for what may seem like no apparent reason, however, underlying reasons may stem from the Playa Hater seeing something in the victim that has caused them to feel envious. The Playa Hater is generally someone who feels inadequate about themselves and yearns to be popular, noticed and/or accepted. They may even sustain their popularity by bullying others and those within their network of friends and/or colleagues. The Victim is generally targeted because they have something or possess a quality that the Playa Hater desires. Playa Haters are also known to target vulnerable people as their victims - often those they perceive cannot or will not fight back. The Playa Hater is... in a nutshell...a bully. Source: Urban Dictionary

THE BULLYING: What these Play Haters do to me.

I have been called: Gay. I am not homeosexual but even if I was ...it is not their business and they have no right to judge me.

On my way to the PE changing room they say 'the last one to get to the changing room wants to have sex with me' - only much nastier words are used.  

They deliberately misinterpret what I say and try to make me look like an idiot. They tell me everyone hates me.

They make filthy phone calls to me. One Playa Hater threatened to stab me - also describing what he would do with my body.

I have been shoved from behind and hit over the head.

They hit me (from behind) and run or gather around me in a gang to stop me from seeing who is doing the hitting. They shove each other into me.

I made a Police complaint on one of the incidents - I needed hospital treatment.

They criticise everything I do. My work, my projects - the things I am involved in. They have even damaged my property.

They open my school bag without permission. They run off with my stuff encouraging me to chase after them. 

They say that all the teachers kiss my butt (only this is put politely, the words they actually use are really quite disgusting.)

A culture of Bullying in schools

Bullying in schools is all over the Internet and in Western culture it seems to be the norm. That doesn't make it right. There are people like me in schools all over the world - people who are there to learn - not to be lost in the culture. I don't think it is acceptable that bullying is accepted. It seems to me that excuses are made for it, comments like: rough and tumble are all part and parcel of being in school or laugh it off. The other week I had learning support assistants at my school trying to give me tips on how to respond to the bullies in an acceptable manner - such as laughing with them and laughing off their abuse to try and make friends with them. For me, these comments are ignorant - clearly these learning support assistants struggle to understand what bullying is and that it is wrong not to condemn it. With adults like this in the school, I for one do not feel that I am in safe hands.

Friday 5th June 2009: The other day, a friend of my younger brother had his ball taken (by some of the older boys) without his permission, and I stepped in to ask some of these boys for his ball back and as a result I got abuse thrown at me including a racist comment - telling me to go back to my own country. This is my country and the person that said it is a racist - whether he grows up and remains a racist will depend on whether the adults that know about his behaviour do anything to stop him. 

What do my parents say?

They encourage me to stay focused and not to be emotionally beaten by bullies. They fund my website and other activities that I do to help me further myself seeing as the normal education route is affecting my ability to learn properly.  My parents encourage me to talk about my problems and this helps me cope with the stress that I feel at the fact my educational experience has been such a nightmare. My parents have reported these incidents to the Police and I have written to the Welsh Assembly Government to address this issue about bullying in the education system. The minister that dealt with my issues said that she was appalled, and even more appalled that despite my parents going to the school to complain - the bullying still continues. She suggested two people that should help me including a support worker that works for the Local Authority. Well, I have already experienced how useless the Local Authority is so the Local Authority worker kindly put me in touch with the local Race Equality organisation. I am documenting everything that happens so that people get to see what is going on with the education system and the society we live in.

What does the school say?

Teachers do their best to tackle each episode but the bullies basically produce more episodes. If I told my teachers every episode - life would be worse for me because it just feeds into the problem of the bullies/haters believing I always run to the teachers.

What I believe

I am annoyed that the teachers cannot stop the bullies. While I do not blame the teachers I do think that they could do more to stop it. For example, they know how rough the school is but that is only an issue if people like me make an issue of it. Basically - the way I see it, the message to me is: this school is not for gentlemen - it is for thugs. If the school is not for me then why am I there? Funny but the bullies have even asked me that question. It seems that the bullies feel at home there and I guess I have stepped on their turf. It looks like they also know that there is no one to stop them and that is why they do what they do. They know they will get away with it.

Some of my teachers are supportive and you can really see that they are just as frustrated with the situation but they can only do so much. I believe the main head teacher needs to clean up the school. He needs to make a stand to stop bullying today. With respect, all I have heard from him so far is talk. He has even had me in his office questioning me about what I meant in my petition to the Welsh Assembly Government - that I have been bullied on a consistent basis. He even asked me to stop this "damn" website. Though to be fair to him, he did explain that he used the words "damn" because he does not really understand computers. However, his actions so far have not convinced me that he knows what bullying is or that he understands the damage his failure to act is doing to the school or worse....to me. I was bullied a so many times before I set up this website and it continued afterwards. I am not aware that the main head teacher has had any of the bullies in his office grilling them the way he chose to grill me because I chose to send a petition to the government. And an ignorant Learning Support Assistant told me that it was extreme that I sent a leter to the Minister because it is not going to help me get any friends. Can anyone be any more ignorant? How many times? I am not there to make friends - I am there to learn. 

Leaving the school is not an option for me. Look at all the bullying sites - bullying is everywhere - it is a society problem. Whose to say that I won't move to another school and encounter haters there too! I am not going to run away. I am not going to become a thug and use my fists to defend myself to be accepted in my school. I am also not prepared to just crawl into a corner and be a victim. Seeing as bullies are content to make my life at school a living hell, I am standing my ground. My future is not going to be ruined because I was bullied at school but seeing as it does not look like bullying is going to stop - I guess (and it is unfortunate) that my entire childhood experience will just have to be about how I spent it tackling bullying.